Crap Hotels in Asia.

We’ve stayed at some beautiful hidden gems across South East Asia, we’re going to help you by sharing our super top secret insider travel tips. Check out these amazing off-the-beaten-track wonders, you’ll be so inspired!

Nah Nigh – Vietnam (AKA Love Motel – you can rent rooms by the hour)
Ben Luc
Price: $200,000 Dong
Wifi: Strong

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The toilet was just right next to the bucket we had to use to shower with, and there was a distinct smell of sewerage coming from the drain. There was a wooden chair that appeared to be for “rocking gently” but it was more stressful than relaxing, kind of like doing sit ups, but extra points for trying. It wasn’t close to any food of substance, but we did find chips. We were also locked out of the room for a brief period and had to wait for backup, we were invited to lay in a hammock whilst this happened. We were woken around 3am, 4:15am and 5am by the rooster. Not cool mate, cock-a-doodle-don’t. Solid Wifi.

3.5 buckets out of 5.




Homestay – Vietnam

Mekong Delta
Price: $300,000 Dong
Wifi: Nope

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We stayed in a traditional wooden hut, which translates to “you will be exposed to dengue fever and malaria borne mosquitoes whilst listening to the sounds of rats, rabid bats and loud geckos”. This place had a beautiful restaurant overlooking the delta, however they were unable to grasp the concept of “vegetarian” and we were given a butt-load of seafood, points lost there particularly as the seafood was undersized and full of mercury (probably). There were crocodiles in a small enclosure next to our hut and a cage with a monkey which made us want to free it, but we were scared of the rabie thing. We again got locked out of our room as the door jammed. We stood on our balcony in the dark as one by one members of the family came to have a crack at opening it. Eventually grandpa got an axe and broke the latch off, he told us to sleep with the door open. We left a shoe propped up against the door in case the crocodiles escaped.

2 buckets out of 5 (points lost on the caged animal thing, but 5 points to grandpa for being a sick dog).


Motel – Cambodia
Kampong Thom Province
Price: $4 U.S
Wifi: Nada

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The squat toilet was raised off the ground, so you had to balance extra carefully for fear of smashing small bones in your feet. I also had diarrhoea so this was super fun and not at all anxiety-laden. The bucket shower was not particularly clean so we were washing our sweaty bodies with algae water. Then the water went off. Then we had a blackout, the one light in the room went out. There were women outside packing rice from the harvest and they invited/pushed me to help, this resulted in 2 hours of hard manual labour for which I was offered approx. $0, slavery come at me. We’re quite certain that the mattress was just a layer of bricks with a sheet thrown over the top.

1 bucket out of 5 (the rice packing was actually kind of rewarding in an achievement sort of sense, that’s why it gets at least one bucket).




Hotel – Cambodia
Poi Pet
Price: $8.75 U.S (rip off m8)
Wifi: Hahahaha you havin’ a laugh m8?

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This is what I imagine gangrene would look/smell like if it were a room. The roof was caving in over Megan’s bed so she woke up with fun fluff balls on her; it was probably asbestos. There were cigarette burns all over the beds and the bathroom was covered in so much grime it took me an entire evening to realise that there was a (useless) mirror hanging on the wall. I was throwing up a lot this day so I got to spend a lot of time in the infected bathroom just for funsies. I still don’t know if I was still sick from a bug, or if the room was so repulsive it made my stomach muscles heave. Whoever runs this place has clearly given up.

0 buckets out of 5. The best part was leaving.




Hotel – Thailand
Nakhon Nayok
Price: $370 Baht
Wifi: Downstairs & Solid

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This Hotel was obviously built in the late 50s/early 60s. Nothing has been done to it since. The pink/floral wallpaper peeling off the walls, tiles missing from the bathroom and fake wooden cabinet gave it that authentic neglected feel. The aircon (we had aircon people!) was like a jet taking off, but surprisingly functional. There was a night market full of amazing food outside and it was reasonably close to a Pokestop. Shower actually came from a shower-head in the wall (although still cold). We got our own beds and they contained actual padding, not just a wooden frame. Would stay again.

4.5 buckets out of 5.


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